Where to Look

Most people, when they think about meeting someone new, think about bars and clubs as the best places to start looking. However, there is no limit to the number of available locations you could try. A few examples include: In a nightclub At a bar At a party At a wedding In a park In a classroom In a bus queue On a bus While walking the dog While practicing a hobby At work In a supermarket At a show/gig In a shopping mall In the countryside At the beach At the pool At church In a cafe At the library At a sports event While on holiday The good starting points are the places you normally enjoy going to. Then you are more likely to find someone with a shared interest; such as music, books, a hobby, or even the same taste in coffee. What do you like to do? Walk in the country, go to music gigs/concerts, meditate with a group, play football it the park, swim at the local pool, drink in bars, go to parties, shop in the highstreet, read books in the library? All these places are ideal for meeting partners with your interests - or you could always join a club which offers something new. The best thing about clubs and college courses is that you meet the same people every week, all with the same general interest in the chosen subject and who you have to communicate with in order to educate yourselves. One thing is for sure, if all you like to do is watch TV you should definitely broaden your horizons. Another interesting place to get to know people is the place you visit most often in the week - your work-place. No matter what kind of job you work in there are always people you can learn from and get to know. Try being helpful when a problem arises and go out of your way to talk to interesting clients/shoppers/colleagues. The main problem at work is that quite a number of the people around you will be married so keep your ears open for subtle hints. Any job involving members of the public will always provide a good opportunity to communicate. Other places to consider include anywhere where you would normally come into contact with people at their leisure including the shopping precinct/mall, the supermarket, at a festival/fair, on a beach, in any queue or somewhere you can turn around and make light conversation. The internet has also made headway in recent years with chat-rooms and message boards where you get the chance to talk about specific topics of interest. These groups are good in that you can learn and help each other with problems - which can be great general introductions for more private e-mail relationships. Many say these methods work because both people have to communicate well in order to continue the friendship, enabling things to mature naturally without sex. Unfortunately, many people lie a great deal about themselves, sometimes assuming new identities over the internet to make things more interesting, and making the eventual face-to- face meeting a disappointment. The Right Attitude What you really want is to let everybody know that you are available in as few words as possible. Simply by looking and acting 'available', you can let the eyes do the talking instead of the mouth. So in essence, always look your best! One of the key things of attraction for both men and women is a clean and tidy appearance - so washing regularly and staying clean-shaven is a must. The colour and style of your hair, your clothing, the condition of the skin and nails and especially your smell can also make a big difference to your confidence and the way you convey yourself to the world. This is another good reason to work out exactly what type of partner you are wishing to attract before the fun starts; and then you can set down your welcome mat accordingly. By the same token, you must also realise how these things could also make you look 'too available', and that there is a line between looking smart and looking desparate (even jokey reputations can be hard to get rid of). Above all, never try to be somebody you are not, for example; putting a false accent in your voice, or dressing like a prince or a businessman; as this will get you in all sort of problems when it comes to second and third dates. These are playboys (or girls) tricks which work fine for casual single antics but can seriously harm your chances in the long term if you get found out. You may think that looking good and presentable is only of real value while you're out on the town, and not much use in the supermarket for instance. Sometimes this is true - but always bear in mind that potentials are to be found everywhere, and it would be a pitty to let Mr or Mrs Right slip past just because you ignored the mirror that morning. But again, be yourself. Make the effort, but don't create false images as first impressions really do matter! To go along with your clean appearance you also need the attitude to go with it. Think positive. A bubbly, giggly character is great to attract the lively and outgoing type, and a sweet-smiling genuine personality can be all you need to find the honest down-to-earth kind - it all depends again on you and your needs. The only real word of caution would be to avoid faking at all costs. Both the appearance and the attitude can be faked quited easily - good news if you want an occasional one-night-stand, but bad news if you want to look for something more permenent. Fakes always get found out - so the only way to make sure you find the perfect match is to be perfectly YOU right from the beginning. First impressions really matter, to find out more go to the next section, First Impressions. Or why not take at look at how to Introducing Yourself, and Other Ways to Introduce Yourself If you would like to comment on this page or add information to it, click Here