Introducing Yourself with 'Chat-up' Lines
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A popular method of ice-breaking is to ask a casual question and see if you can get a conversation going. In this way you can pick up little bits of information, small signals, and gut feelings to help you decide whether to take things further. There's nothing wrong with talking to the person you fancy, in fact sometimes, just by having a polite conversation, you may decide they arn't what you were looking for after all.
If chat-up lines are your thing then you need to come with something that is original, practical, and often funny to break the ice. I don't use them myself, but if you do here are a few suggestions. First of all, classic chat-up lines rarely work unless A. Everybody's drunk, B. Your lines are very clever or C. You are both in need of each other. The corniest lines ever imagined include:
A better way is to say something more honest like:
At this point, some chat-up professionals may ask one or two loaded questions to try to work out if the person is single or not. These questions are often thought out well in advance to trick people into giving the game away. If you use these more devious techniques, or would like to know what to watch out for, here are a few common examples.
Of course, you do need to know whether the person available one way or another. During a healthy conversation, you may notice one or two give-aways to give you an indication. If the person laughs - even at your worst jokes - or is smiling all the time, they like you! If the person keeps asking you questions about yourself and what you like to do, they are interested! If they offer to do something for you, or give you a present - such as buying a drink - then they are making the effort to get to know you!
Once you are confident enough of their availability, you can move onto the questions you really need to know in order to judge your compatibility. Try to think about your questions and decide what sort of answers you are particularly looking for. One way to start off a topic is to offer some information about yourself first, like saying "I enjoy [this], do you like [this] as well?". You may like to know:
These may sound such obvious questions but in the thick of an interesting, sometimes drunken conversation such things can be overlooked.
Then you will get an instant 'Yes' or a 'No thank you' so you know exactly where you stand. Of course, if you just asked this question to begin with there would be no need to go though all the other questions above - you could save them for the first date. However, using the Invitation directly can be the most terrifying approach as it means no sneaky loaded questions and no false 'getting to know you's', instead you have to come out and say it on the spot. If you do opt for this method, knowing the person a little - at least enough to say 'hello' to in passing - will help the whole situation become much friendlier and less intimidating, allowing you to pop the question in your own time. Generally, the more you get to know the person first, the easier the Invitation will become. Unfortunately, depending on your location at the time, this may not always be possible; and you may be forced to come up with an Invitation quickly or loose them forever. In these impossible conditions you have a stark decision to make, and if you decide to 'go for it!' then you will just have to get all your determination together face the fear.
Otherwise go to our next section, The First Date
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