ow you have cast off the fear of yourself you may be ready to get out and take in more of what life has to offer. It's never too late. After all life really is that short, in ten years time who knows where you will be or what you will have acheived. You should take pride in your life, walk down the street with more confidence and get to take things on with new vigour. First of all consider how well you know yourself. List down all your good points and what you believe in along with all your bad points. Why do you feel bad about these things at all and how can you change for the better? Is money a concern? Are you too mean with it? Think of all the money you spend on yourself over the cource of a week - going out, buying food, affording luxuries, do you spend enough on yourself and other people? What qualities would you like to have in life? Would you like to be more outgoing, more relaxed, more motivated, more open minded. The easiest way to adopt a quality is to act like you have already go it and over time the quality will become part of you. Talk to people like you have known them all your life and try to be much more open. This is the easiest way to make new friends and the more friends you have the more variety you will experience in life. These changes you can put into practice right now to lift your mood. But returning to the main point, you must also take time out for yourself and get to know you. The more you are comfortable with yourself the easier it is to face new challenges and be around other people. This will often mean spending time by yourself and taking in the pleasures you enjoy.
One great way to find yourself and get your brain in shape is through meditation - the path to find your inner being (or soul). Meditation not only helps you relax but it can also help with depression, mood-swings, consentration, anxiety and sleep. You will also find meditation helps productivity as you get things done with a focused and positive attitude. To practice standard western meditation you must find a quiet, warm but dark place where you can sit in peace away from interuptions. An ideal place is in the bedroom in the early morning or late at night depending on what time is best for you, particularly at the start of a new day to give yourself a fresh start and a new focus. Sit with your back straight either in a cross legged position or in a chair for support. It can also help to lightly touch the tip of your thumb with the tip of your first finger to stimulate deep breathing. Close your eyes and take several long, deep breaths through your nose to relax your body. Consentrate on your breathing - feel the air rushing though your nose and into the lungs, as you exhale you may feel yourself relax a little more each time. Don't think about anything in particular, if your mind wanders just focus on your breathing until all your thoughts lie at peace. If you enter the true meditative state you may see your mind will merge with your breathing and the boundaries of the mind disappear. This can take 15 - 30mins but stay in meditation for about an hour. Some people will find the practice a bit boring at the beginning as the benefits are only really felt after meditation is completed, but stick with it. After a few months of 1 hour/5 times per week you will notice your outlook on life has changed and you start to appreciate the sights, smells, colours, tastes and sensations life has to offer, as well as feeling happier within yourself.
Another form of meditation called 'insight' works in a different way and can be used anytime you need it. The method involves reacting to your thoughts, feelings and sensations as they happen - weeding out the bad ones and enjoying the good ones even more. In daily life the mind is constantly active, thinking about the past, the present and the future. If you think about the past, how will you benefit from this thought? If you are thinking about the present or the future,
is the thought doing you mental good or harm? A worry for example can manifest itself as a 'future' thought - what can you do until the object of your thoughts happens? Sometimes the object of your thoughts doesn't happen and you may have been worrying for nothing. The insight method usually recommends clearing your mind of all thoughts during the day, consentrating instead on your inner peace (you may have found during meditation). Failing that you should simply note the cause of your thoughts without letting your mind wander into unnesessary detail. A better example is to use insight with your feelings. If the feeling is a good one then notice it and enjoy it. If the feeling is a bad one (like anger) you should again notice it but this time think about where you are and whether the matter justifies wasting your anger on it. For example, if your child knocks milk all over the floor at breakfast time, stop, collect your focus and make sure the child understands how upset you are rather than exploding. Never bottle anything up, rather your must make people understand your feelings and then put it all down to life.
Even if you don't meditate it is always a good idea to get to appreciate as much of life as you can within your daily routine. Learn to open your smell organs as you smell pleasant things, and especially when you step outside you must learn to breath in the fresh air before you return to a stuffy home or workplace. You will also find your food will taste so much better if you really taste the food each time you eat. This is especially true of your favourite foods - there is no reason why you can't eat your favourite things more often and enjoy every mouthful. If the sky is blue, notice the colour. If the sun shines, feel the warmth. If you hear great music, hear the all the instruments as they play. Every time you venture out of the house you will see brand new things, you may talk to new people, maybe stir a feeling or a sensation, so it becomes important to soak in all these new experiences as they happen. And then in 40, 50 or 60 years time when you can look back you can say 'yes, I made the most out of every day, I am satisfied with life.' A precious gift indeed.
