Depression - Getting to the bottom of it
By now I hope I have been able to show you how you to get the most from being around and chatting to other people. This is an important step as you will need these skills soon when you tell some of them how you really feel. So how do you feel today? Happy, sad, energetic, cloudy, bored? Ok, take a pencil and try to hold it below your nose using only your top lip. Balanced? Now take the teaspoon out of your coffee, dry it and try to balance it on the end of your nose. I bet you can't smile without them falling? If you can't, shout 'Knickers' a few times as loud as you like! Louder..!

That's better, now lets see what we can do. There are many many causes of Depression. Some are obvious, and you can put your finger on the spot straight away. Other causes are so unobvious you can't understand what's going wrong, or you may be unable to remember your past problems because of some kind of blockage. No matter. We will try to find those out later if we need to. For now, take a pencil and paper and write Depression on the top. Now list down the left hand side of the sheet anything you think may have caused your troubles. Here are a few examples:

Money Health
Family Friends
Loss and Grief Relationships
Social Life Private Life
Unfulfilled Dreams Shattered Hopes
Personal Torment Lack of love



Sometimes, depression is triggered by a number of problems all sparking each other off at the same time, so you may have compiled quite a list of troubles. If you can see anything you can do to correct any of these issues, list them down next to your causes on the right hand side of the sheet. You may find that a few adjustments can make all the difference. Finding the right courses of action (cure) is very important, so to help you with this, here are a few ideas.

Money/Job: If your job gives you a low wage and no time for an active social life, then quite a number of the items listed above will suffer. Changing your job can be quite a hard process, and trying to change your job without success can be even more frustrating, but don't loose heart - remember to use your Brave Face and keep looking for alternative paths. Not all jobs require training either. Working for your local authority (in jobs such as care work, road maintanance and refuse collection) require no previous experience, and can be quite highly paid too. Do you have old skills you can fall back on? Quite a few people have skills they have forgotten about, from previous jobs or school qualifications. With a little imagination, you may be able to use these talents to help you towards a less stressful or a better paid career.

Terminal Illness: A terminal illness, such as cancer or AIDS, will obviously leave you shaken and angry. These emotions are natural and can be accepted once you come to terms with your future. Do you believe in reincarnation? Any Medium or Clairvoyant will tell you that life will find a way to come back, although without past life regression you probably won't remember much of this. When it is time for you to go, think of it as a gateway to more lives, rather than an end to this one. Don't loose heart. The spirit world is always open.

Loss & Grief: If you have lost a loved one you may be able to get over the shock by visiting a professional Medium. In this way, you can reassure yourself that people in the spirit world are much happier then they ever where down here. They can see you and everything that happens with interest, without fears or hatreds which cloud our own lives. The last thing they want to see is a loved one in an upset and unhappy state, they want to see you happy and content.

Family: If someone, such as a husband or wife, a child or even your own mother or father is endlessly causing your heartache, you can become depressed very quickly and easily. You may have had a troubled childhood, which you blame your parents for, and which still effects your life years later. If this is true then you will need to look at how you can completely come to terms with it, and look at whether they really were in a position to raise you. Was it entirely their fault or were their own parents to blame? Similarly, if your partner causes you pain, is it their fault or is it something which has happened to them? If others are unwilling to deal with this themselves, then you need to do everything you can to make sure they know how you feel. If they still love you, there is still hope. Would separation solve things? Do you both need more time alone? Does somebody need more love or more inclusion within the family?

Shattered Hopes: Just as you seem to have a corner of life planned out, something changes and you find you loose sight of the road. You say 'Why does this have to happen to me??' and you fall down into the dumps again. Whatever you have hoped for and lost, there are, as always, possibilities and alternatives. Are your hopes being delayed? You may realise that this time next year, things will be different. If you think you can't have children, there are many treatments available, and there is always addoption. If you think you have made a career mistake, don't look back with anger, decide what you need to do to either change your job or change your appreciation of your current position. To accept a situation is the first step to liking it. There is always time enough for change, so keep on developing new hopes.

Lack of Love: This can be one of the main reasons for a spiraling feeling of loneliness and self-pitty, and can be a problem to get your head around. If you have family and friends to lean on, then try talking to a few of them to air your feelings. You may crave a partner or a child, but first you must learn to love yourself and get to know YOU. In the meanwhile, while you are on the journey, you may get comfort from growing plants. Once you realise you have the power to grow, love, look after and create life, you will gain much more confidence in yourself and with life. A pet can give unconditional love, so start small with a very easy to look after animal, and as you learn to look after it, love the animal, and it will love you back. Only when you are a truly happy with yourself, will opportunities arrise.

There are 101 reasons for feeling down. Not having a partner can be annoying, but there are always possibilities to try to solve it. Lack of time is a major one, again related to your job and your family. Maybe you need to list all the things you wish you had more time for, and make time for the most important ones. There are still other causes, a mid life crisis can be a very bad time if you think you are lacking something in your life. Start by looking at the things you have accomplished, then look at the things you still have time to accomplish, and make plans to fulful a few before the year is up. Don't be affraid you have not made the most of your life - you will be growing with experiences all the time! You will be helping other people, both directly and indirectly. You will have made life more enjoyable for your partner, for your family and for your friends. And don't forget, there will always be time to realise your dreams, maybe not in this lifetime...


Ok. You should now have gone some way to completing this little Self Assessment. Take a moment to study the whole thing and if you can think of any other problems, or remedies for your problems, then add them to the list. You can now use the things you have thought about to help your treatment. First of all, consider what you think the root causes of your situation to be... If you think that a person (or events based around a person - such as a break-up, or a death) are to blame, then the best option to start with is Psycotherapy. Visit your doctor and ask for this specifically. Psycotherapy will help release the blame/anger/hate by talking about it to a friendly professional 'listener', and what's more - it's free!

If, on the other hand, you find there are no direct causes/blames you can talk about (such as an unhappy career, lack of money or personal torment) then psycotherapy may still be able to help, but the first thing to do here is to tell your doctor about it and ask for medication. Drugs such as Prozac and Paxil are freely available and now have fewer side effects. You can always try the drugs for a few months and decide later if you would benefit from psycotherapy.

And that's it, consider the task complete - well done you! Breath a huge sigh of relief and put the kettle on. Before you carry on with your day, try to fix in your mind the remedies you have listed on the right hand side of the page. Decide how you are going to put these things into action and then destroy the paper. You don't need to look at that aweful list again!


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