But the story doesn't end there - the whole process of shaping a human can be a complicated one - so lets start at the beginning. We all start life basically the same, as a female egg. Then, if we have an 'XX' in our genetics we would start to produce oestrogen and grow as a female. However, if one of those chromosomes transformes by chemical reaction into a 'Y', we would start to produce a sizable amount of extra testosterone and grow as a male. The testosterone hormone is the key to a mans development and determines how the body matures; no more so than in puberty when it increases the size of a mans physique, deepens the voice, creates facial hair, and starts to grow and stimulate the sex organs. Women have diluted testosterone too, but their main driving force is oestrogen which, as a side effect to it's presence during puberty, will begin to enlarge the hip bones, make the breasts larger and develop the sex organs. These hormones also change the way we view the opposite sex, and generally alter the way we move our bodies in a 'masculine' or 'feminine' way. That's right!, these characteristics are all produced by those two tiny little hormones, and without them we would hardly find each other attractive at all.

So what makes a man? Testosterone is the hormone whos sole job is to make a man look and act like a man. Using the deeper voice, sex organs, enlarged muscles, and extra aggression brought on by the hormone during and after puberty, he is able to construct himself a mind-set which involves all that is 'matcho' and 'manly' about him - which is generally known as the male Ego. Using this to his advantage, a man may use it often to help him control the way he acts and presents himself to the world. Any activity which promotes the use of one of his testosterone enhanced characteristics; such as using the muscles for heavy lifting; will produce more of the hormone - enhancing the ego and adding to his idea of self-worth. This is why some men enjoy physical jobs and sports which rely on using their strength or aggression. Unfortunately, too much hard work or built up levels of testosterone will lead to too much strength and aggression, leading to irritability, agitation and mood swings, and left unchecked, irrational and violant behaviour. Testosterone is the soul reason why men tend to be more violent than woman. Having said that, not all men have plenty of testosterone in their bodies to create the classic dominant 'alpha male' steriotype. Some men live quite happily with much smaller amounts of natural hormones in their bodies - the scale is very broad. As a loose example, some men find they have to shave once a day after puberty to prevent them getting a beard. On the other hand, some men can't grow a complete beard until way into their 20's (even early 30's) and can get away with shaving much less frequently - even just once a week. This type of man is rarely sees himself as the kind of 'puffed-up-chest' matcho type. He is more likely to be emotionally sensitive rather than 'hard-headed' and is less likely enjoy overly physical activities.

Women like to show off their oestrogen related enhancements too - but oestrogen doesn't create large muscles and aggression, so an ego isn't necessary to maintain them. Instead, oestrogen gives a woman a much more rounded physical shape and promotes gentleness and emotional sensitivity. Again, anything which uses one of the oestrogen related characteristics will produce more of the hormone and make a woman feel much more contented within herself. Perhaps surprisingly, trying on clothing and seeing a feminine reflection in the mirror will do this, as will anything which pampers or stimulates the emotions. A woman can generally enjoy a more passive rather than aggressive nature because of this. However, unlike men, who's sexual patterns move in quite long cycles, a woman experiences regular sexual changes every month which cause hormone levels to naturally fluctuate. As with testosterone, too much oestrogen in the system will unsettle the body - causing the same moodyness, irritability and aggression seen energy-charged men. Being in-touch with these changes is essential to a womans lifesyle, and she may plan things specifically around them. It also has to be said that the amount of oestrogen in womens bodies varies between individuals just like it does with men. Women with lower hormone levels will tend to be more practical and 'down-to-earth' and much less likely to be concerned with their weight or use of cosmetics.

So we are driven and controlled to a vast extent by the little tiny hormones. They build us into who we will become. If genetics are the blueprint for making a human, hormones are surely the blueprints for making men and women. And yes it is true that if you give a woman testosterone and a man oestrogen, their bodies will attempt to change sex. Simple as that. Another thing to be said about hormones is that they not only change the body, they also attempt to influence the attitude of the individual as well - to make them act and even think in a 'masculine' or 'feminine' way. Generally, the more 'femininity' a women can convey the more she will raise her own self-esteem. This can reflect in the tidiness of her house, the tendency to wash and change clothing regularly, the way she walks and talks and uses her hands to communicate. However, men don't need as many of these reminders to keep up their sense of confidence and individuality as the Ego can take care of most of that for them. For this reason, men can afford to ignore the house work, be less concerned about personal hygiene, and can to walk, talk and act in a much more deliberate manner.

But is that all there is to a human being? Well no, if we were making a new human being right now we would only have half the ingredients we need. The other half are all related to the brain. Not the size of the brain, as both male and female brains are exactly the same size and have the same potential for learning. No, I'm talking about what goes into the brain. You know, what we learn as we grow determines the way we act and think about things. The way we do this is largely through a natural skill called mimicry. Starting from early childhood, the brain starts to make decisions about how we should act based on the attitudes of the people around us. As we learn to 'fit in' with others, we immitate them, and easily pick up their habits and skills. This trait plays a very important part in our development and shows us how to eat, walk, talk and act just as our parents do - and this is also how family traits and social habbits can be passed on down the generations. The people around us influence our views on things, how we should behave, and what is morally and socially acceptable. In later life, especially through the teenage years, we take less notice of our parents and prefer to learn from people of a similar age to ourselves - from our friends. These people will then build on the raw personality we developed with our parents and take us onto the next stage in our evolution. We move from simply accepting everything to questioning them and denying them, until eventually in our more mature years we learn to take the views of others with a little more consideration. It's all very natural - but the fact remains that the company we keep will always affect us in one way or another. In fact anything and everything we see and learn will affect our nature in some way. The kind of schooling we have, the careers we have, and the partners we meet along the way. It's called experience. But mimicry doesn't stop there! In our modern society we also pick up habbits from all kinds of sources, and the more we associate with these the quicker our attitudes can change to reflect them. The number one cause of this phenomina is of course the TV, as well as movies, music, magazines, newspapers, books and even video games. Most of us underestimate the influence of the media to build and shape our minds.

So at least we have a more complete picture of what makes a Man or Woman. It's a combination of so many things! And on top of all that there's still more! Some say we are also born with a number of natural skills and traits which predispose our minds to certain things. Palmists say 'it's all in the hands'. Astrologers would suggest we are also affected by the position of the stars and planets at birth, and offerer us more specific tendencies based on our star sign. Or was the name you were given at birth important or influential? What about the size and strength of our chakras? or the food we eat? Oh it all gets so complicated!! But surely there must be some common similarities between groups of men and women? Well yes there are. And here's where it gets interesting.

In general terms, men believe themselves to be high achievers, priding themselves on the ability to attain career goals and solving problems. They are ruled by the head and love to show their practicality, strength, and skill with machinery. They can also show more independence and self reliance, with a real appreciation of their own space; which can make then rather blinkered and centered on their own needs rather than being overly aware of consideration. Men enjoy getting dirty, and talking with 'the boys' about practical things such as innovation and technology. Men love problem solving - no matter who's they are - and will pull any stoke and cut any corner of a problem so long as they can clain they have solved it. Social graces are often far from a mans mind; maybe not because he doesn't know them; more like he just doesn't care. Mens memories are also more scattered than womens, and they're far less likely to remember specific dates, times, and particularly anniversaries. He is a solitary creature - especially in bed when he rarely likes to be awoken early, whereas a woman would much prefer some kind of companionship, especially through friends or even pets as these rarely hurt the deepest feelings which a lover can do so easily. Women are social creatures and spend a lot of time nurturing friendships and acquaintances. Anything is possible to a woman if she has a friend to do it with - even going to the toilet in a bar takes two. Politeness and social graces are never forgotten, and a women will avoid saying anything rude to another womans face (it is customary to wait until she leaves the room and then talk behind her back). If men are ruled by the head, then women are ruled by the emotions of the heart. They tend to be idealistic dreamers in life and in romance, always on the lookout for a partner not only caring and romantic but honest and upstanding as well. Having said that, the mind does play a mayor role in a womans life, and a partner interested in what a woman thinks about and cares about (rather than simply noticing the body) will certainly be appreciated. On the whole, a man will view life through the eyes and have a good visual memory; seeing acts of friendship is all a man needs to remain friends with somebody. Women on the other hand tend to see with the ears!, and have a very good memory for who said what to who and when. They also enjoy listening for useful information and 'gossip' which they can use at a later date. This also means a women is more likely to remain loyal if she hears acts of friendship rather than necessarily seeing them. There brains can be very specific and attuned to detail, and can often remember incidents or remarks made years earilier - ready to be brought to the surface as annunition during serious disagreements. Men tend to be arrogent amoung friends and like to show off and exagerate to earn respect. If they fall out with their friends they will use their body language and a raised voice to beat their opponent down before using their fists if nesessary. Women on the other hand like to use a sharp tongue as their main weapon, and will often select precisely the right words to completely deflate their enemy - a trait known as 'bitchyness'. Even in the bedroom we can't agree! Women like 30 minutes of foreplay - more if possible. Men like 30 seconds of foreplay - less if possible. Women like to be loved slowly and sensually, preferably in a soft bed with cosy lighting and music. Men like to be loved whenever they can get it, preferably on the sofa so they can turn the volume up if anybody scores a goal. Women like to tease and be teased. Men like to tease as well, especially when they come home late and can't think of a good excuse. Will we ever agree on anything?

By now you may have realised that men aren't like women at all are they? But are we really like two different species?, and is there such a thing as the 'better' or 'weaker' sex? Recent studies have shown than men handle pressure, and cope with frustration in the work-place much better than women. These studies have also shown that women meet deadlines, and generate new ideas more often than men. I think there will always be an acceptable balance, and even though one gender may feel superior than the other in some respect, we must realise that one will always need the other in some ways. Without women, men would never learn proper manners and how to look smart at a wedding; without men, women would never know what they'd turn into if they stopped making the effort. And let's not forget, we will always need each other in one or two other small ways too...

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